How to Reset Your Brain’s Response to Stress

How to Reset Your Brain’s Response to Stress

Introduction,

In a world where stress has become a constant companion, resilience is often hailed as a badge of honour. Phrases like "what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger" or "pressure makes diamonds" echo through workplaces and households. Yet, for many, this emphasis on toughing it out is doing more harm than good. Dr. Aditi Nerurkar, a Harvard physician specializing in stress and burnout, is challenging the notion of "toxic resilience" and offering a fresh perspective: resilience isn’t about enduring unlimited stress, but rather about recognizing limits and resetting our response to pressure.

 

Stress and the Body, A Silent Epidemic

Stress is now more prevalent than ever. A recent Gallup study revealed that nearly half of Americans report experiencing frequent stress, a stark increase from just a few decades agitative effects of stress are well-documented, with links to high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, and stroke. Dr. Nents out that while we may be more aware of these physical risks, we often overlook the mental toll stress takes on our brains, and more importantly, how we can change that.

Dr. Nerurkar, author of The 5 Resets: Rewire Your Brain and Body for Less Stress and More Resilience, advocates for a shift in how we perceive stress. “The goal isn’t to eliminate stress entirely,” she explains. “That’s impossible. The aim is to manage stress in a way that it serves you, rather than harms you.” This simple but profound change in perspective, she says, is the key to healthier living.

 

The Myth of Toxic Resilience

Dr. Nerurkar’s own journey into the field of stress and resilience was deeply personal. As a young medical resident, she worked gruelling hours in high-pressure environments. "I was told from day one that pressure makes diamonds," she recalls. "So whenever I felt overwhelmed, I would remind myself, ‘I’m a diamond in the making.’ But eventually, my diamond cracked."

Her experience reflects a pervasive cultural belief that resilience means enduring all challenges without breaking. From England’s wartime slogan "Keep Calm & Carry On" to Japan’s "karoshi" (death from overwork), this philosophy is deeply embedded in societies worldwide . Yet, Dr. Nerurkthat this version of resilience is not only unsustainable but harmful. "True resilience," she says, "is about honouring your boundaries and knowing when to say no. It’s about self-compassion, not self-sacrifice."

 

Rewiring the Brain, The Science of Stress Reset

One of Dr. Nerurkar’s central messages is that stress can be managed—and even reduced—by retraining the brain. This is where the concept of neuroplasticity comes into play. Neuroplasticity is the brain’s remarkable ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life. It means that, contrary to past beliefs, our brain is not fixed at birth. It evolves with our experiences, thoughts, and behaviours.

"With practice, we can create new pathways in the brain that make us more resilient to stress," Nerurkar explains . Her book outlines several techniques for achieving this, including gratitude journaling and mindful breathing exercises. These seemingly simple actions can have a profound impact by activating different neural circuits in the brain.

Gratitude journaling, for example, is more than just a feel-good exercise. Writing down five things you’re grateful for each day, by hand, not digitally, engages specific neural pathways associated with positive thinking and emotional regulation. Studies have shown that a regular gratitude practice can reduce stress and increase resilience over time . “What you focus on grows,” Nerurkzes. “By focusing on gratitude, you are training your brain to prioritize the positive, rather than letting negative thoughts dominate.”

 

The Power of Breathing

Another powerful tool for resetting the brain’s stress response is mindful breathing. We take around 20,000 breaths a day, often without conscious thought. Yet, Dr. Nerurkar explains that intentional, controlled breathing can shift us from a state of anxiety and "fight or flight" into calm and clarity.

Breathing is unique in that it is both an involuntary and voluntary process. This means we can use it as a bridge between the mind and body. By focusing on our breath, we can interrupt the brain’s stress signals and ground ourselves in the present moment. Nerurkar recommends a simple practice she calls "Stop, Breathe, Be." Whenever you feel overwhelmed, stop what you’re doing, take a deep breath, and focus on the present . This technique is especially useful for society, which is often rooted in future-oriented thinking.

“When you’re stressed, your mind races ahead with ‘what ifs,’” she explains. “What if I fail? What if things go wrong? These thoughts trigger the brain’s survival mechanisms, making you feel trapped in a cycle of anxiety. But by stopping and breathing, you bring yourself back to the present and calm those anxious thoughts.”

 

Redefining Resilience, Less Endurance, More Compassion

Dr. Nerurkar stresses that the key to true resilience is not pushing through stress at all costs, but recognizing and honouring your limits. This is a major departure from the toxic resilience model, which equates strength with endurance. Instead, Nerurkar advocates for self-compassion as a cornerstone of healthy resilience.

“Resilience is about knowing when to rest, when to ask for help, and when to say no,” she says. "It’s about recognizing that you’re human and that it’s okay to have boundaries." This approach can feel counterintuitive in cultures that prize hard work and toughness, but it’s essential for long-term well-being.

In fact, recent research supports this shift. A study published in The Journal of Behavioural Medicine found that individuals who practiced self-compassion were more likely to recover from stress and less likely to experience burnout . Self-compassion helps individuals acknowledge their situation without judgment, which in turn fosters greater emotional resilience.

 

A Healthier Path Forward

As stress levels continue to rise, it’s more important than ever to rethink our approach to resilience. Dr. Nerurkar’s work highlights the need to move away from the myth of toxic resilience and toward a model of resilience that prioritizes self-care, mindfulness, and compassion.

By embracing simple practices like gratitude journaling and mindful breathing, we can begin to reset our brain’s response to stress and create a healthier, more balanced relationship with life’s challenges. Through neuroplasticity, the brain can be rewired to handle stress more effectively, reducing the negative effects on both mental and physical health. In the end, true resilience is not about enduring stress, but about managing it in a way that supports our well-being.

 

References

  1. Gallup Poll on Stress in America (2024). Gallup Global Emotions Report.
  2. Nerurkar, A. (2024). The 5 Resets: Rewire Your Brain and Body for Less Stress and More Resilience.
  3. Journal of Behavioural Medicine, “Self-Compassion and Stress Recovery” (2023).
  4. Harvard Health Publishing (2024). “The Role of Gratitude in Mental Health: Rewiring the Brain.”
  5. Big Think Interview with Dr. Aditi Nerurkar (2024). The Science of Perception Box.

 

Back to blog